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My Dad Died Today

July 17, 2011

My Dad has been dead approximately one hour.  I’m still reeling from this.  He was and still is my Hero.  No man in my life ever approached his Being. 

He was admitted into the hospital less than one week ago.  His leg had been causing him pain and he was using a walker to get around.  We learned it was broke in more than one place.  He had surgery only a couple of days ago … to repair the leg.  He never made it out of the hospital.

To me it seemed as if he was preparing for his death.  I believe he was ready.

He was an accomplished golf pro – playing with The Golden Bear, Arnold Palmer, Sam Snead …. and I was always proud of him.  And I was his daughter …. and with his love he made me feel so special and so loved.  But it’s what I couldn’t explain to him …. the depth that I loved him … is what is left unsaid. 

Both of my brothers were by his side this evening.  They were not expecting this.  We were all looking forward to his birthday next month.  I had purchased plane tickets several months ago, and was flying to CA to spend his birthday with him.  Now the plane tickets will be used to spread his ashes.

My Dad’s last wish is that the three of us kids love each other and be there for each other.  That we stick together as a family.  And so my Dad was able to accomplish what none of us could alone … and that is to bring us closer as a family. 

I’m not sure what to do with what I am feeling.  I’m wishing that we are walking hand and hand down the sidewalk – the way we did many years ago. 

And I’m wishing I could hold him even just one last time to tell him …. SO MANY THINGS. 

 

 

My Dad.  My Hero.  My Everything.  I love you.

 

 

 

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