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Pantene Hair? Not on this Head!!!

January 28, 2010

I’ve always been a sucker for hair products.  That is because my hair is such a disaster – perpetually thin, fine and wavy.  For years upon years I’ve watched the Pantene commercials, running out and purchasing whatever-new-product-they-have, in the hopes that I shall one day find THE Pantene product and voila … my hair will be stunning!  Thick!  No split ends!  Glossy!  Simply beautiful!  Ha.  Has not happened yet, and my bathroom cabinets are chocked full of the various half-used Pantene products

Today I’ve decided to document my hair adventures over the span of my life.  Introspection?  Or complete disbelief?


A Very Young Adult in CA

The coolest female in Westlake Village – she had her hair streaked, on both sides.  In retrospect, she may have resembled a skunk … but I didn’t care.  Oh — to have streaked hair would make me cool, too!  I asked my mother if she could do this for me, and she agreed.  We gathered at her home with the streaking solution, including that strange plastic cap that fits over the hair … with millions thousands hundreds alot of holes in it, where hair is grabbed and pulled through the tiny holes to be bleached and colored.  After the pulling, bleaching, coloring of my soon-to-be coolness, my mother looked somewhat horrified.  An important point is that I had not yet seen the finished product.  Grabbing a scarf, she told me to put it on my hair, and run to the drug store and purchase ash brown hair color.  Oh my.  So, I looked in the mirror.  My hair, particularly along my part, was spotted blonde.  Not streaked …. spotted.  Days after, I was sitting in a music theory class at El Camino Junior College.  A classmate nudged me (I remember his name … Gary Carter), and asked if I had been swimming.  “No.  Why?”  Is seems my hair had taken on a rather greenish color from the procedure. No streaks or spots — just green.  I have never streaked my hair again.


The Young Professional

Employed by McDonnell Douglas Automation, I had finally worked my way from “The Pit,” to a Systems Analyst / Business Programmer position.  And so I was somewhat suddenly placed in a professional position … one which required wearing suits to work as well as spending my hours in a 2-man cubicle.  As my hair was quite unruly, even then, I wore it long.  It worked, however, never got to the Pantene look!


The Young Professional Married to the Professional Love of my Life – JTJ


 As the majority of professionals I worked with had short, business type hair styles, I decided I should, too.  One morning I woke with the goal of cutting my hair and getting a permanent.  My step-mother had arranged an appointment with her beautician, who remarked that my hair was like “a bare canvass waiting for the artist.”  NOT what happened!  I still did not achieve the Pantene look!


The “Bob”

In still another effort to become a professional business looking person, I decided to opt for a “bob.”  A simple haircut.  Not how it happened.  I ventured into a new beauty shop, and was assigned to a beautician that did quite a bad job.  My hair was cut into many different lengths, and the entire “bob” concept was lost to a haircut that seemed to have been created in a nightmare.  The haircut you see is how it was salvaged by a different beautician.  The cut was so bad, that a close friend pulled me aside and asked me what happened.


Back to Square One!

During this phase of my life, I have opted for long hair again.  Am trying bangs … which of course I cut myself.  (I actually found a YouTube video about “How to Cut Bangs” – a struggle to stay away from beauticians.)  The beauty of this style is that it requires no curling iron or flat iron, so maintenance is next to zero.  And yes …. from time to time I do the “Pantene Model Hair Toss” …. but alas, I must now face the truth that my hair will never enter the “Pantene” zone!

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